Sunscreen & Understanding
(May 2020) Our good friends from down the block come over again. They’re the same couple that came down when I was in tears about Payton being left out by the neighbor kids. It is so nice to have a couple and their children come over, and have it be worry free. When something goes wrong… and it usually does, they could care less. They’re so laid back; and they just go with the flow. When you come over to our house, you never know what’s going to happen. This particular day was just a normal day at our house. Jimmy had put up the bonce house in the back yard for the kids. My friend and I were sitting on the deck enjoying the outdoors. Jimmy and her husband were down the street at their house picking something up when all of a sudden I hear a loud banging noise. I go and look, and it’s Payton. She has a hammer Jimmy left out in the yard. She’s going to town on an old gate Jimmy had replaced to our privacy fence. I get it away from her in a hurry. She could hurt herself or who knows what. Then the boys come back. All is back to normal. The adults are on the deck, and the kids are in the yard and in the house. For whatever reason, out of the corner of my eye, I see the door. It’s not shut. It always has to be secured; so that Payton doesn’t just decide to leave. There are some extra safety precautions on the door. Nothing is done. Of course Payton took advantage of this quick lapse in our defenses to go on an excursion. She’s ran out the front door and is in the neighbor’s back yard on their trampoline. We’re actually really grateful for that trampoline; because we know every time Payton flies the coop that’s where she’s headed. Once I get her back in; and get the door back to a secured state, we’re back to relaxing.
Remember how much I love hanging with this couple. Here’s a good example. When I get back my friend isn’t surprised or annoyed at Payton’s actions. She’s just intrigued at how I noticed the hammering sound and noticed the door being open. Apparently she didn’t hear the hammering and couldn’t believe how quickly I picked up on the door not being closed. I think there’s a place in my brain trained specifically for Payton’s needs. I’m like Jason Bourne monitoring all exits and threats; but for a completely different reason.
Now we’re back to relaxing. We all eat. The kids eat. We’re playing cards and the kids are off to the basement to play with toys and watch Moana. Maybe 10 to 15 minutes go by; and Payton has decided to apply her own sunscreen. I can’t believe it. She’s covered head to toe in sunscreen. It’s on her skin, her cloths, the walls, the mirror, our kitchen island, and the carpet. We’re worried it’s going to get into her eyes; so Jimmy picks her up and rushes her to the tub. He gives her a bath while I clean sunscreen off of everything in our house.
Back to cards. Jimmy and I are mad at ourselves; because we didn’t take a quick picture of Payton covered in her sunscreen. Oh well. A few more minutes go by and… Payton pees on the carpet. This is kind of weird; because she’s been so good at telling us when she has to go. I think all the play, friends, and commotion have distracted her. I know she’s tired. So the game stops again to clean up Payton and the carpet.
Back to cards. Not even one hand in and Payton pops back into the kitchen. Again covered in sunscreen! Jimmy’s not happy; but he keeps his cool pretty well. I forgot to put the sunscreen back up and out of reach. So I figure maybe I’ll give her the bath this time. Prior to removing sunscreen hand prints from the kitchen island we remember to take a picture this time. It’s just too funny at this point. There were little sunscreen handprints all down our kitchen island. It’s like she needed to touch every square inch of it.
Back to cards, and we finally finish our card game. I make sure to tell them how grateful I am to have them there, and how much we appreciate their ability to go with the flow as it pertains to Payton’s surprises for us. It’s not that our other friends aren’t good with Payton or understanding; but some will feel bad for us or seem like they need to leave if Payton acts out. Not these guys, they go with the flow, help out, and clearly love Payton and Olivia. It just feels so nonjudgmental, and don’t get me wrong. Our other friends aren’t judgmental; but I don’t feel a need to worry about it when they’re over here.
If we have friends reading this, the main take away is: don’t feel bad for us and never feel like your presence is a burden around Payton. This is our messy life. It’s not like it was our friends’ fault Jimmy forgot to lock the door; or that I left the sunscreen out… twice. We want our friends to feel comfortable and get to know our life. It is what it is. Sometimes this is why we prefer to be at our house and host, because we never know what is going to happen. When we’re at other people’s house it can be hard to relax, because you have to consistently watch Payton. We wouldn’t want to get sunscreen & pee all over someone else’s house. People will also have rules for their own children to follow; and that’s totally understandable. We obviously have rules for our children to follow as well; but it can take us months to get Payton on board with a rule, if at all. The idea that we could get Payton to follow those rules in minutes or hours is pretty much a no go. So to reiterate, never feel bad if we ask to host; or if we host more than you. It’s much easier for us to be home than it is to be on the road. We’re like a sports team. We need that home field advantage.