Tribe
In life if you’re lucky, your family is your main support structure or tribe. We are lucky. We can always count on our family. The outside or secondary tribe does seem to change though once you’re on the autism journey. Our journey with autism has changed up that tribe some. Some friends stick with you, some fall off, and others take a while to understand our unique situations. Our plans change quick and fast; and if you come over to our house you have to be ready for some chaos.
When Payton was first diagnosed, I felt our family had mixed emotions about the diagnosis. I no doubt took some of that too personal. An easy example would be Jimmy. He didn’t feel like the test ran on Payton necessarily meant she was autistic. He thought she was just developing slower than her peers. At that time when my family wasn’t on the same page, I had a deep feeling of being alone. There was one friend though who has been by my side since day one. I’ll never forget how supportive she was. She helped me through paperwork when Jimmy wasn’t ready to accept. She listened to all my challenges and kept me positive when I could have easily slipped into a deep depression.
Our family is now stronger than ever though. From the diagnosis to today is like walking out of a dark tunnel into the light. Everyone seems up to the task of riding the chaos wave. Payton has no idea just how big her support structure actually is. We will be forever grateful; and she’ll come to appreciate it as she grows. We’ve also met some parents along the way who have joined our tribe. Some of those parents have special needs children and some don’t. The ones that don’t really deserve a huge level of respect for being able to see beyond their own situation.
Currently we’re helping Payton to find her secondary tribe. Like we said above, her tribe is huge. We couldn’t ask for better teachers at school. Both her special needs teachers and her general education teaches have taken on the task of her education with open arms and hearts. Everywhere we take her people are saying hi to her from adults to kids. It’s heart warming. Her friendships also change just as ours do, but the first little friend she made still makes an effort to say hi to her every time they see each other. Even when Payton has her head in the clouds this little girl will move her head around to be almost nose to nose with Payton forcing her to pay attention. It’s exactly what Payton needs. It’s incredibly uplifting to see a little girl do what some adults can’t even figure out. I know not all kids will be as accepting or understanding; but I pray her future will be filled with little ones like the one I just mentioned. Like all parents we want what’s best for our little girls; but the special needs aspect adds a whole new level of fears and trepidations. One thing we know for sure though is that Payton’s heart is true; and she’ll continue to make gains. She makes us so proud to see where she started to where she’s at now. Her future is bright.
