Advocating
All parents want for their kids is the best. We want them to be included and understood. So why do parents who have a child with a disability have to work so much harder to make sure their children are included and accepted? Don’t we always say there is no such thing as “normal”. We’re all unique. Payton is such a blessing. She is teaching us how to be patient, inclusive, and many more things. I’ve been teaching special education for 15 years, and I was one to judge, even though I knew better. Why aren’t these parents doing more? Well the truth is they are doing what they can. Iowa doesn’t have the greatest resources for us. People aren’t out there helping parents access everything they need. So why was I judging? Because I didn’t have the perspective, but… Now I do. Now I know better. Not every parent of special needs child is going to have the special needs teacher perspective; so they’re hindrance may be even greater than my own. Hopefully sharing our journey here and by advocating along the way we can open some eyes and make it a bit easier for the next parents.
As Payton gets older, more and more speaking up/advocating is having to happen. We are fortunate that Payton is able to participate in activities with her peers. Will this always be the case? Hopefully, but we don’t know what the future holds. All we can do is keep involving her in activities. Watching her participate in activities with her peers is great, but you can see the disconnect also. She doesn’t always understand and doesn’t always get the same opportunity as her peers; but she does love it. That’s what we’ve always wanted; so I have to tell myself it’s okay. It’s okay; because she’s happy. Her childhood may not look like mine or her dad’s. It’s a slow realization that I’ve come to; and I have to keep reminding myself constantly.
However… when there are opportunities for her to shine like in Special Olympics, it’s sad that she has to do it on her own. I think every person needs to go watch a student with a disability at Special Olympics; or any activity for that matter in which they get to shine. It brings a whole new perspective. You get to see them be themselves and not have to stress out trying to do everything so perfectly or correctly. They get to be them! Plus inviting their peers is so eye opening for so many kids. It can even be eye opening for adults. The kids interact without the need to win the trophy or dominate some game to make some overzealous parent happy. Nobody cares when some kid, Payton, runs past he finish line and all the way around the track again. When amongst their peers without the rigid structure of normalized sports you get to really see some happy kids. It makes me wonder if sports are taken too seriously for neurotypical kids. I almost feel sorry for them. I’ve seen multiple kids Payton’s age crying at softball games already. Why aren’t they having fun? Probably a topic for another day. Back to Payton; and this eye opening thing called Autism.
After some meetings, I got to take my students from work to Special Olympics. It was a happy event; and I was so happy for my students to get to go have fun and be themselves. When reflecting on the politics behind it though I’m saddened. Special Olympics isn’t a school funded event; so students who make state may not even get to compete. Let alone be recognized by their peers. Contrast that with many schools across Iowa. When they make state the school might call off classes for the day and bus all the kids to the event. There is such a double standard.
If the date of a Special Olympics event falls on the Friday before Memorial Day Weekend, students may not get to compete because so many staff take that day off. Would this be the case if it was a school sanctioned event? The answer is no. They’d find a way; and what does that say about their commitment to these kids? How is this fair to these children? The school doesn’t give them their own events to shine in; so when something as awesome as Special Olympics is offering up the opportunity…. Why for Christ sake won’t the school take them up on it? Why the fight? Why the excuses? If the dance team wants to do an event in Florida… they figure it out! So getting a bus to move 40 minutes down the road shouldn’t be that big of a problem.
We’ve either got to have schools see Special Olympics as the amazing opportunity that it is; or we’ve got to get schools to come up with their own events in which special needs children get to shine.
I’m thinking why not both?
