The Diagnosis
A friend of mine messaged me. His daughter was diagnosed with Autism. My first reaction was to type, “I’m sorry.” Good God, why would I say that? This isn’t a death sentence. Sure you would rather your child not have a learning disability; but there are so many positives to focus on. Now they can stop wondering what’s causing the delays in learning. Now they can start to implement a more individualized education plan. They can finally figure out a better way to communicate with their daughter! That’s the main thing. You got a perfect little angle there; and you can now devise a plan to communicate better with her. Isn’t that the most important thing?
So instead of “I’m sorry.” I went with, “Know that it will all be okay. I’m here if you need me. Take a moment to grieve if you need to. It’s okay.” Looking back these are words I’d wish I’d have heard. I look back and feel almost ashamed of the reactions I had to our diagnosis. It is, however, natural to feel this way. As I said, no parent wants their child to have a tough time. No parent wants a learning disability for their child.
I told them it might help to read through my blogs to see what our journey looks like. Not that all journeys are the same; but I wanted him to know that positive change is coming. Apparently, he has been following my blog. Must be that parent intuition.
This got me thinking. What have I written in this blog? So I went back to re-read what I’ve already posted. Wow! I was overcome with joy. Things start out so bleak when you get that first diagnosis; but looking back made me realize how much of a blessing that diagnosis really is. It truly give you a fresh start. We started out nonverbal. Poor Payton couldn’t tell us what she wanted. What she needed. Of course the sweet child threw tantrums… wouldn’t you?
Soon after that diagnosis, we were starting ABA therapy, speech therapy, and occupational therapy. It was all overwhelming. Soon we had a communication device. I was starting a parent support group, and then this blog. I was focused on Payton; but I was also looking back at all the parents who’ve been in my classroom facing this same issue without resources. I really wanted to be helpful. We dealt with elopement issues. We dealt with peer interactions. We dealt with big time medication decisions. We dealt with boundaries. We were really put through it; but it’s all totally worth it. Now we have this once nonverbal little girl who can express herself. She can interact with her peers. She can be a part of a group. She can play sports. She can play outside. She can be trusted. She can have similar experiences to other children. She can put a smile on almost anyone’s face.
Her journey isn’t over. Far from it; but looking back at where you started really helps to put the hard work into perspective. It’s totally worth it; and even if we were only half of where we are now, I’d be okay with it. Everyone’s journey is different. Progress is measured very finely sometimes. I hope this blog finds the next mother or father who’s just been struck with a diagnosis and gives some comfort. A diagnosis sucks, but it’s not the end. It’s just the beginning.
